I wanted to refrain myself from commenting anything about this student’s death but I thought that there are some lessons to learn from this tragedy. When the news appeared 2 days ago and sent to me via email, I told the sender that I know what is the likely problem. It is unlikely going to be anything to do with stress of medical educations as he did complete 2 years of education in Ireland. It must be something else, likely personal and inability to handle acute stress/emotional disorder.
The next day, his own father has revealed the truth. Not only he said that it is a love triangle but he admitted that money can’t buy everything!! He had given valuable advise to all parents as highlighted below.
I know of many doctors who are busy earning big fat money in private sector, working day and night but forget to spend time with their family. How much money is enough? Being a doctor means that more money is equivalent to less family time. Most of them think that by throwing money to their children and getting them everything they ask for will make them happy. I know some consultants who dedicate their entire life of medicine in setting up departments, units and treating patients in the hospital but hardly spend anytime with their children. To cover their guilt, they buy all sort of things for their children including buying big expensive cars and even paying everything for them. Trust me, it is this type of attitude that destroys a child’s life.
This 3rd year student was driving a BMW sports and I have seen many students driving big cars nowadays , all bought by parents. Of course, you can’t do medicine nowadays unless you are from a rich family or under scholarship. Money can’t buy everything, I use to say this! How true has it become.
Children who grow up in this kind of environment will not be able to handle a simple stress in their life. I have seen many junior doctors who have similar problems. We call them “pampered” child! I had a good HO and subsequently became a MO who committed suicide by injecting Ketamine and potassium few years ago. He was the only child in the family who grew up by getting everything he wants. He was a top student in school and graduated from a local university. He even passed his MRCP Part 1 just after housemanship and wanted to become an Interventional Cardiologist. He was a good doctor thou. One fine day, he realised that he is Hep B +ve during routine investigations. Thinking that he can’t become a cardiologist and his future is not secured, he decided to take his own life!! This is similar to the case below as a simple dejection caused him to commit suicide.
So, to all parents out there, please take the advise given by this doctor below. I never pamper my children. Till today, they still go to school by bus and get only limited amount of money from me. They are thought to save their own money to buy anything and I always teach them to be independent. I hope they will grow up well and able to handle everything in life.
R.I.P………………………
Student falls to his death
GEORGE TOWN: A medical student fell to his death from a multi-storey car park of a shopping mall here.
Steven Ko Yiu Hing, 24, (pic) is believed to have fallen from the fourth floor of the car park. His BMW was parked on that floor.
Ko’s father, founder of a chain of skin specialist clinics, declined to speak to reporters at the Penang Hospital mortuary where his son’s body was sent for post-mortem.
OCPD Asst Comm Gan Kong Meng said the father had told police that his son was under pressure since beginning his studies at the Penang Medical College here a few months ago.
He said Ko’s body was found sprawled on the ground floor by three workers at about 2am yesterday.
“Ko’s parking ticket showed that he had parked his car at the mall at about 4pm on Wednesday,” ACP Gan said, adding that police had not ruled out foul play.
The case has been temporarily classified as sudden death.
College president Brendon Lyons said he was saddened by the incident.
“Ko was an active person in college and had done volunteer work at an education fair,” he said.
Lyons said Ko had continued his studies at the college after completing about two years of his course in Ireland.
In another case, a Chung Ling High School Form Six student was found hanged at his flat in Gat Lebuh Macallum here.
The body of Arizona Tan, 17, was discovered by family members in a bedroom.
Initial investigation showed that Arizona could have died for more than six hours before his body was found.
It is learnt that the deceased was staying with his parents, a younger sister and a grandmother.
Neighbours described him as a well-mannered teenager.
One of them, who declined to be named, said she was told that Arizona had been a good student too.
Initial investigations showed that the teenager did not attend school yesterday.
ACP Gan said the case has been temporarily classified as sudden death.
Doc: My son was in love triangle
By TEH ENG HOCK and WINNIE YEOH newsdesk@thestar.com.my
KLANG: The father of the medical student who plunged to his death in Penang believed it was due to relationship problems.
Dr Ko Chung Beng claimed that his son, Steven Ko Yiu Hing (pic), 24, was dejected after deciding to give up his relationship with a girl.
Dr Ko, who is a skin specialist, said his son had been seeing the girl for a month, who also happened to be an ex-girlfriend of a friend.
Recently, the friend had expressed his intention of resuming his relationship with the girl and Steven decided to give way, said Dr Ko.
The trio had spent more than two years studying medicine in Ireland before returning to complete their studies at the Penang Medical College.
“He (Steven) had sent an SMS to the girl saying that he did not want to give her any trouble or pressure her. He advised her to watch the movie Casablanca,” he told reporters at the wake here yesterday.
On Thursday, at about 2am, Steven’s body was discovered sprawled on the ground floor of a shopping complex by three restaurant workers.
He was believed to have fallen from the fourth floor of the car park where his BMW was parked. He had gone to the complex at about 4pm on Wednesday.
Casablanca is a 1942 movie starring Humphrey Bogart, Paul Henreid and Ingrid Bergman set in World War Two. It features a love triangle between two men and a woman with Bogart’s character giving up Bergman.
Dr Ko, who has a daughter, blamed himself for not spending enough time with his son when he was going through an emotional phase.
“My advice to parents is to spend more time with your children. Do not pamper them too much by giving them all they want.
“Otherwise they may not be able to take rejection, as there are some things that money can’t buy,” he said.
In GEORGE TOWN, police are pursuing all angles, including relationship problems that could have led to Steven’s death.
George Town OCPD Asst Comm Gan Kong Meng said Steven did not leave behind any note.
“Police are ascertaining whether there was any foul play,” he said yesterday.
The case has been classified as sudden death and police have surrendered his belongings, including his car, to Steven’s family in Klang.
Pagalavan's Avatar 
Dr. Ko is a very dear mentor of mine. One of the few that I really look up to. Although he is very very hardworking and spends most of his time helping the patients and training young doctors, he always talk about his children and how much he adores them. To me personally, from my perspective, he is a really great father and family man. My heartily condolence to him and his dear family. Dear Steven, may you rest in peace.
wow,suicide inspired by a movie.i wonder what some people would give up for something as fragile as relationship.–requiscat in pace–
my condolence to the family …. Rest in Peace Steven…. I did not know you but i believe your family and friends miss you dearly …
Yes, I noticed that it is quite a predominant trait these days – children being so pampered that they cannot handle rejection/ failure. I think it is really saddening as their parents did mean well. It is not easy for one who has had everything going smoothly for them since Day One to be able to cope when life’s adversities catches up with them, as it inevitably will. You are very wise, Dr. Pagal, and your children are fortunate to have you. I think I will try my best to ensure that my children do encounter failure and problems early in life (if I have to set it up myself!), tell them the reason and encourage them. It really isn’t easy for someone who hasn’t failed before to deal with the hardships of life! To parents out there, please don’t always be a shield for your children. They need to suffer small mishaps in order to be able to cope with more stressful ones… you can’t always be there for them. A baby in a cushioned box will feel the pain more when he leaves the box and falls, as opposed to one that is brought up normally.
It is so sad and so very very sad. I am sure many of us parents are guilty of pampering our children thinking that this is a good way to compensate for love in absentia. Alas, this tragic event reminds all parents to pay more attention to strenghtening the psychological health of our children by less pampering and exposing them to real life problems so that they can face setbacks in life without having to resort to extreme acts like suicide.
I once had a university classmate who had always been a top student throughout his student life. He came from a middle class family but led a very protected life as his parents would not allow him to mix around thinking that he might be affect his academic performance. His parents had always expected him to be top in his class. Hence his life largely revolved around attending classes during day time follow by tuition(during school days) and heading home to continue studying.
Just two weeks before his 1st year university exam (those days we had only one final exam a year – no semester system) he fell seriously ill and was unable to prepare for his exam to his usual high standard. He recovered well enough to sit for the exam and was sitting next to me in the exam hall. I was very surprised to observe that he was shivering, sweating profusely and crying to himself. I also noticed that he was staring at the exam script with the pen in his shivering hand but not writing out his answers like what the others did. To the shock of all his classmates and lecturers he failed his exam for the first time in his sterling academic life. He was allowed to repeat his course the following year but he was never the same person again. He had become a nervous wreck and dropped out of unversity later with psychiatric problems.
Before that incident I always thought that a brilliant scholar like him must be a superior human being in all aspects. That incident proved to me that it need not be. But how can I explain a brilliant scholar turning into a psychological wreck over one failure (initially, failure to prepare well for his exam due to illness and later failure in his exam due to a nervous condition arising from his lack of usual thorough preparation before the exam)? I lost touch with my classmate since then. I hope that he recovered.
There is some similarity between Steven Ko’s and my classmate’s cases. Both of them could not take setbacks in life. One committed suicide while the other one became a nervous wreck over one failure. Why?
The society we live in today in such, if we had the most expensive stuff we are classified as happy people. Let me ask you, what is happiness? Happiness is a state of mind. A person who has lived in a farm all his life could possibly be much more happier than guy competing with the rest of the crowd in an urban city. Eventually he would suffer so much of tensions in order to upkeep his identity or to be more exact his bloody status as a successful person. But is it really worth all the struggle when you are actually just keeping yourself comfortable with latest conveniences and not happy within your inner-self.?To be very honest, most people is cosmopolitan cities are only chasing after money, but have no concern on how to be a more cultured, mannered and civilised person….and if this is not happening is this the progressive society we are talking about…Does driving a sports car, living in a posh condo/villa, having the latest mobile phone means progress??I definitely don’t think so.
Money does not buy happiness… true.
But conversely the absence of money makes all sorts of bad things: like say, divorce, more likely.
Let’s not kid ourselves by saying money is not relevant in the pursuit of happiness.
You dont need copious amounts of money to be happy… But it sure as hell feels damn good to be debt free (read: no mortgage) and having a good amount of expendable income each month.
Yes, money is important. That is the reason why we work to earn a living. BUT , how much is enough. I know many who work to earn as much money as possible and neglect their family and children. It is this kind of people who “pamper” their children.
BTW, the divorce rate now is highest among the haves then the have not!!
dr pagal you are right. how much money is enuf? i have seen people earning RM3000 a month who are happy and dont have debts. And also some who are earning RM30K a months yet they have a lot of financial problem, have also gone thru a few divorces, children drug addict, well i guess to much money really spoils them. The positive side of not having a lot of money is , you will know who are your real friends and relatives. so be contend with what we have. dont spend to much time chasing the bubbles. a little wisdom and financial management skill will be helpful as well.
it’s very important for us to remember that all good and bad things end, therefore cherish the good times while they last and let go when they end, on the same note, hang in there and appreciate the blessings even when bad times come a-calling. We must always remember those who love us and the trauma they suffer if we decide to do something so inconsiderate as to take our own life. The years of our parents caring for us are not enough to compete with the so-called love of an opposite sex or a hit on an exam sheet? Life has far bigger issues than these. What doesn’t kill us will make us even stronger.
Dr Pagalavan,
Thanks for your sharing which is very educational for all parents and children. From your sharing about the MO who committed suicide by injecting Ketamine and potassium few years ago, I wonder if there’s a cure for Hep B +ve person? From my understanding, there’s none but it’s a cancer.
It is not a cancer but can lead you to liver cancer. There is a cure for Hep B now.
my prayer to the boy, rest in peace. To father he needs to reviews his as “BUSY” Dr. as published in media, not because of money or works but his personal life style……… is a very big question to public. I always believe and analyze in many angles,don’t just focus on the girl being blamed in LOVE tragedy, is there any possible on “family” tragedy ?
[…] I wrote when Dr Koh’s (a successful cosmetic physician) son fell to his death few months ago, here and here . I remember telling people that money can’t buy everything and DON”T let […]